


Doppleganger

by anseladamsfan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The English Patient (1996)
Genre: 20 minute writing challenge, Be Kind Rewind, Drabble, Fast Food, Gen, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter Friendship, Humor, Late 1990s Movies, Late 1990s Technology, Movie Night, Post-Hogwarts, Short One Shot, Spoilers for The English Patient, Young Ralph Fiennes Gives Me the Vapors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 21:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19798498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anseladamsfan/pseuds/anseladamsfan
Summary: Harry and Hermione watch a 1990s classic. One actor stands out from the rest.





	Doppleganger

Hermione was in a _mood_. Not the sort of mood that meant Harry was in trouble, thank goodness, but he still didn't like seeing her in such a tizzy. She had just come over to Harry's apartment, law textbooks still in hand, and had gone on a tangent about the conservative professor who had given her essay a failing grade. Harry had heard about him before—he was renowned, even outside the legal world, for his traditionalist opinions—and he didn't envy Hermione for having to put up with him three times a week. 

"He's just so, oh, I can't even deal with him anymore. He's sexist, he's a blood supremacist, he's incredibly insulated—no one can challenge him! He outright refuses to listen to anything that goes against his opinions, no matter how well-reasoned. It's like facts don't even exist in his little smoking jacket world!" Hermione had gotten into several arguments with him during his office hours, which probably wasn't the best thing for her grade, but righteous anger was what Hermione did best. 

"Can you go to the dean again?"

Hermione shook her head. "He hates me, too. My law review article on the rights of house-elves was rather contentious amongst the higher-ups." She bit her lip. "But this professor really should be fired, quite honestly. I don't care how many thinkpieces he's written for _The Sorcerer_ —his textbook is terrible, and he refuses to be refuted by any other sources in our essays." Despairing, she collapsed onto the kitchen counter. "Kristen wouldn't put up with this."

"Who?"

"Kristen Scott Thomas. I’ve been thinking about her all day, for some reason. Maybe my mind is trying to protect me from law school." She grinned. "Protect me, more like."

“I get like that, too. A bad habit for an Auror." Still, he knew that name from somewhere. "This Thomas Scott... she's an actress, right?" he hazarded.

Hermione nodded eagerly. “She was brilliant in _Four Weddings and a Funeral_ —we have to watch that one with Ron, he’ll like that one—but I still haven’t seen her in _The English Patient._ I’ve read the book it was based on a few years ago, and it was excellent. It won the Man Booker Prize, actually, which is a huge deal in the muggle literature world. It's not a Nobel Prize, but it's close.”

Harry grinned at her excitement. “Well, if you want to watch it, we could rent it. Right now, even. Blockbuster’s a minute away,” he offered. Hermione briefly looked tempted, but she gestured towards the pile of textbooks in her lap.

“I have some reading.” And by _some_ , she probably meant a good eight hours, but when was the last time the two of them had an afternoon to themselves?

“I’m sure you can finish it after.”

She smiled. “Only if we can grab some döner kebab on the way back.”

* * *

Harry plopped the VHS into the player before settling into the couch. Thankfully, whoever had rented the movie had rewound it all, so they could start watching immediately. A paintbrush appeared on the screen, slowly moving across the deep tan of the parchment, and the opening credits began. Harry vaguely recognized most of these names from Aunt Petunia’s magazine covers, but he couldn’t match them to faces to save his life. Slowly, the parchment faded into a plane flying over the desert, and Hermione thumped his arm excitedly.

“That’s her!”

Harry squinted her eyes, attempting to place her. “Is she normally blonde?”

“No, but that shouldn’t make a difference. Her face is so unique.”

He shrugged, a nonverbal _if you say so_ , and reached over to grab his soda, which was almost empty. Quickly, he dashed off to the kitchen to grab another can, hoping he wasn’t missing anything important. He finished his drink, wondering if Ron would be off of work before the movie ended—almost _three hours_ for a movie?—and decided to grab a bottle of muggle beer, just in case. Hermione’s taste in films was impeccable. If you liked the artsy ones that were critical darlings and won all the awards, that is. When she said that this one was a romance, a pit formed in his stomach, but he had been the one to suggest movie night, so he had to suffer the consequences.

He ambled back in, taking another swig of his drink. Hermione was sitting, rapt, on the edge of the couch, a greasy chip poised halfway between the takeout container and her mouth. Harry wanted to take a photo of how silly she looked but had to settle for a small chuckle. She hit him on the arm, shushing him, and redirected her focus back to the television.

Amused, he followed her gaze to the screen and froze.

“Hermione,” he whispered.

She didn’t look at him, only offering an irritated grunt. Harry took that as an invitation to continue.

“That man. Who is he?”

“Colin Firth?”

“No, the other one.” A group of men in matching tuxedos suddenly flashed on the screen, which wasn’t helpful. “The staring one.”

“Ah. That's Ralph Fiennes.”

Harry filed that name into the back of his head, unsure of how to continue. Best just come out and say it, right? That man with the weird name ( _Rafe? Is that Welsh?_ ) looked, well…

“He looks like Voldemort,” Harry stated, and Hermione dropped her mayonnaise-laden chip in her lap.

“What?!” she exclaimed, fully turning towards Harry, who raised his hands defensively.

“I swear. That guy looks exactly like the older Tom Riddle, and Voldemort looked exactly like his dad before all the Horcruxes.”

Hermione stared at Harry, wide-eyed and skeptical. “If you say so. I don’t see it.” The movie abruptly switched back to that pretty French brunette, wringing a wet washcloth, and then that Rafe guy was moaning in bed, his face completely covered with pale burns. Hermione gasped, and Harry felt victorious.

“The melty face makes it obvious, right?” he said, somewhat smug.

“He still has a nose, but goodness. The lips, the eye socket, the cheekbones. God, it’s uncanny.” She suddenly blushed, shaking her head and groaning into her hands.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.” Harry shot her an unconvinced look. “It’s just, well, I’ve always found Ralph handsome.”

“Well, yeah.” Surprise flitted across her face. “I see the appeal, I mean,” he said, nervous about the teasing glint that had just entered her eye. “That whole bit about adjectives was pretty intense,” Harry added, attempting to strengthen his case.

“If you say so,” she said in a sing-song voice. “Just you wait for the rest of the movie. The love scenes are supposed to be rather racy.”

“Love scenes? Like this?!” Harry gestured at the television, incredulous. Was Scarface actually going to have sex with the French woman, all gasping and disfigured like that?

“No, before all the burns. With Kristin Scott Thomas.”

“That makes sense.” Harry hummed, considering the plot. A thought struck him. “So, we’re supposed to be rooting for an affair? She's already married to Firth, right?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “It’s _romantic_ , you buffoon. Just eat your food and watch the damn thing.”

"When does World War II start?"

Hermione glared at him, and he shut up.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had a crush on Ralph Fiennes for ages thanks to The English Patient, and I'm perpetually amused by the fact that he started playing Voldemort less than a decade later. His younger brother is currently playing Commander Waterford on A Handmaid's Tale, so the villainy (and sexy/scary looks) must run in the family.
> 
> Oh, and that bit about the adjectives? Enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Kdu43tTnZc


End file.
